Commentary on The Qur'an 4:34
Dr. Ahmad Shafaat
Of all the Qur'anic passages about men and women perhaps
the one most often misunderstood or misused by both Muslims and non-Muslims is verse 34 of Surah an-Nisa. The English translation
of this verse reads as follows:
"Men are (meant to be righteous and kind)
guardians of women because God has favored some more than others and because they (i.e. men) spend out of their wealth. (In
their turn) righteous women are (meant to be) devoted and to guard what God has (willed to be) guarded even though out of
sight (of the husband). As for those (women) on whose part you fear ill-will and nasty conduct, admonish them (first), (next)
separate them in beds (and last) beat them. But if they obey you, then seek nothing against them. Behold, God is most high
and great. (4:34)
The purpose of this article is to give a detailed commentary
on the verse in order to make it better understood.
The verse begins with the statement that "men are qawwamun
over women". The root of the key word, qawwamun (pl. of qawwam), is qama which means "to stand or to make something stand
or to establish something". It is often used in the Holy Qur'an in the sense of establishing religion or prayer. A related
word is qa'im which means "one who stands or makes something stand". Qawwam is an intensive form of qa'im and has a sense
of continuity in the action involved. So it means one who is continuously standing over something (as, for example, a guard
or caretaker) or one who is continuously making something stand, i.e. is maintaining it. In the Qur'anic usage of qawwam and
related words there is almost always present an idea of propriety. For example, aqamah of salah is not only praying but also
praying properly. The function of qawwam is also understood in the Qur'an to be characterized by fairness. Thus in 4:134 and
5:8, the only other passages in the Qur'an where the word is used, the believers are told:
"O you who believe! Be qawwamin with fairness..."
"O you who believe! Be qawwamin for God as
witnesses to fairness..."
Thus to be a qawwam over something or someone is to guard,
maintain or take care of that something or someone in a proper and fair manner. If there is any single word in English that
can convey the meaning of the word as used in the present word it is probably the one used by Muhammad Pickthal, namely, guardian.
After stating that men are qawwamun over women the verse
goes on to say why this is so. Two reasons are given:
1) "Because God has favoured some of them more than others".
It is not explicitly stated here who is favoured more than whom but in view of the context it is probable that men are understood
in some way to be favoured more than women. But in what way? Again no answer is given in the verse under consideration or
elsewhere in the Qur'an. But we can justifiably take the reference to physical strength and energy in which men generally
excel women and which enables men to guard women against some of the dangers to which they may be exposed in society and to
take care of some of their needs.
From the statement that God has favoured men more than women
in some ways we should not conclude, as many careless readers of the Qur'an do, that Islam views men superior to women. For
this statement does not exclude the possibility that in some other ways women may be favoured more than men. Indeed observation
shows that women are in general more patient, caring and have a more developed intuition than men.
Moreover, the Holy Qur'an makes it clear that while there
are many favours of God that He bestows on His creatures in different measures, there is only one favour which determines
the superiority of one member of the human species over another and that is taqwa or God consciousness. Thus wealth, strength,
health, intelligence, position, education, etc. are all favours of God but we cannot say that a wealthier person is superior
to a poorer person, a stronger person is superior is superior to a physically feeble person and so on. we can say only that
a more muttaqi person is superior to a less muttaqi person. In the words of the Holy Qur'an:
"The nobler among you in the sight of God is the more muttaqi
(righteous) among you." (49:13)
Taqwa (righteousness, God consciousness) is that divine favour
of God on which the right use of all other favours of God depends. The more of this quality of taqwa a person has the more
the other favours of God benefit him.
Thus the fact that man has been favoured in some ways more
than woman does not automatically make him superior to her. It is only when his taqwa is more than hers that he can from the
Qur'anic point of view be considered superior to her. And when a person's taqwa increases to a worthwhile level the question
of his superiority does not interest him, for he or she realizes that all praises are due to God.
2) The first reason then why men are qawwamun over women
is their physical ability to protect women. The second is that "they (i.e. men) spend out of their wealth." Although the Holy
Qur'an permits women to earn and own wealth, it expects that men will generally be able to earn more than women because of
the natural differences between them. This means that they will generally be responsible for the economic needs of women and
this responsibility also makes them qawwamun.
In thinking of men as qawwamun over women we should not limit
their role to mere protectors and providers. Properly taking care of women requires more than ensuring their physical security
and providing food and shelter. It also requires looking after their psychological and emotional needs which can be summed
up in terms of the need for love (30:21). Thus man's role in the relationship between men and women (as husbands and wives)
generally consists of three things: protecting the woman, looking after her economic needs and giving her love.
What is the woman's role in this relationship? A brief statement
follows about this in the verse:
"The righteous women are devout (qanitat)
and guard what Allah has willed to be guarded even though out of sight."
Qanit means one who is devoted to someone and out of love
and devotion obeys him or her. Outside of the present verse the word in its various forms, occurs seven times and is used
of both men and women. In six out of these seven places, the object of devotion and obedience is understood to be God, in
one place it is God and His Messenger. For this reason qanitat may simply mean "devoted to God". In view of the context, the
idea of devotion and obedience to the husband may also be read into the word.
Since men are qawwamun over their wives, they must have some
authority to make decisions, for a person cannot be an effective guardian or maintainer of someone without having some decision
making authority. And whenever there is legitimate decision-making authority on one side, there is some necessity of obedience
from the other. In Hadith there are many traditions which encourage women to be obedient to their husbands. Some of these
traditions are no doubt forged, being attempts by later Muslims to subjugate their women (1), but others look authentic (2).
Thus the Qur'an and Hadith do teach that women should obey their husbands. But this "should" is not a "should" of moral or
religious obligation. The Qur'an and authentic ahadith do not command women to be obedient to their husbands, so that it is
not a sin on their part if they sometime do not listen to their husbands. The Qur'an and Hadith consider obedience to the
husband as simply a desirable quality of the wife.
In connection with the decision-making authority of the husband
and the wife's obedience to him, the following further points should also be noted:
i) The "authority" on the husband should not be
thought of in terms of the authority of a ruler or a boss. The very personal nature of the relationship between husband and
wife and the love and affection which must characterize that relationship (30:21) should be reflected in the way the husband
exercises his authority. In particular, he should always fully take into account her feelings on every matter. In Islam, even
rulers and bosses are ordered to take into account the views of those in their charge; in case of husbands this is all the
more necessary and natural. Likewise, the obedience of the wife to the husband should also reflect the personal and tender
nature of their relationship. In particular, it should not be a forced obedience but rather should come naturally out of her
love and respect for the husband.
ii) If a wife cannot sufficiently love and respect the husband
to give him the obedience he expects, then she can, if she so chooses, seek a divorce which will necessarily be granted to
iii) The decision-making "authority" of the husband should
be restricted to the area of responsibility (i.e. dealings with the society at large, family budget, etc.) and should not
iv) The obedience of the wife to the husband, like all obedience
in Islam, is only in what is right and proper. The wife can and indeed should disobey any improper, un-Islamic, command of
the husband, e.g., if he commands her not to wear hijab.
"Guarding what God has (willed to be) guarded" means
guarding the husband's honour and property as well as wife's own loyalty towards him. "Even though out of sight" (li al-ghayb)
refers to the husband's honour and property when he is absent as well as to the wife's secret feelings and thoughts which
the husband cannot perceive even if he is present. Thus in return for love, security and financial support the husbands should
give their wives, righteous wives should give their husbands love, loyalty and obedience and look after their interests with
This, however, describes an ideal situation: a strong loving
husband taking full care of the wife and the wife giving him her faithful love, obedience and support. In this situation the
couple needs no marriage laws. The husband, for example, does not need to be told to take care of the wife, for it comes naturally
out of his love for her. Likewise, the wife does not need to be told to obey her husband and to be faithful to him because
all this is the natural result of the love and respect she has for him. It is noteworthy that up to this point the Qur'anic
verse does not give any commands. It rather uses a descriptive language: "men are qawwamun...", "righteous women are qanitat...".
In other words, the verse simply describes the relationship between husband and wife as nature has meant it to be.
Unfortunately, in a great many cases the relationship between
husband and wife, because of weaknesses on one or both sides, falls short of the ideal described above. In many cases, the
husband and wife successfully make some adjustments between themselves. In many other cases, however, an adjustment becomes
difficult. The remaining part of the verse under consideration concerns such cases.
"As for those women on whose part you fear nushuz..." Before
we go any further with the translation, it is important to explain the meaning of the key word nushuz. The literal meaning
of the word is "rebellion". But rebellion against whom and in what sense? We should certainly not think of this in terms the
rebellion of the ruled against a ruler in a sultanate or dictatorship and conclude that it consists of the wife disobeying
some of the husband's commands. This is because the same word nushuz is used in case of a husband in verse 128 of the same
surah 4, where it is said: "If a woman fears nushuz on her husband's part..." So nushuz is something that can be feared by
the husband on the wife's part or by the wife on her husband's part. It cannot therefore be understood in terms of the ruler-ruled
relationship. To correctly understand the meaning of the word, it must be noted that both in the verse under consideration
and in verse 128 the reference to nushuz is followed by a reference to the break-up of the marriage (see vv. 35, 130). If
this context is kept in mind, then it becomes evident that nushuz means the type of behaviour on the part of the husband or
the wife which is so disturbing for the other that their living together becomes difficult.
Now the behaviour of a marriage partner can become disturbing
for the other in one of the following two ways:
1) There is no ill-will on the part of the offending
party. It is simply because of some incompatibility between the two or the failure on the part of one to understand the other
that one of them finds some aspect of the other's behaviour disturbing.
2) One partner knowingly behaves or continues to behave in
a way which seriously disturbs the other partner. In this case there is obviously an ill-will on the part of the first partner
towards the second.
Nushuz is only this second type of behaviour, for only
a deliberate ill-conduct based on ill-will can be described as "rebellion".
There is also a measure of relativeness about nushuz in the
sense that what constitutes nushuz in the eyes of one person may not be so viewed by another. For this reason, the judgment
that one's spouse has been guilty of nushuz is partly a subjective and personal one. That is why the verse says: "If you fear
nushuz..." instead of for example, "if you find nushuz...". In the Holy Qur'an "fearing" signifies subjective but certain,
knowledge or judgment about something.
In short, nushuz is a behaviour on the part of one marriage
partner which comes out of ill-will and seriously disturbs the other partner.
Let us now proceed further with the verse and see what does
it suggest in case of "those women on whose part you fear nushuz".(3) Three steps are recommended: "Admonish them (first),
(next) separate them in beds (and last) beat them."
When there is no ill-will on the part of the wife towards
the husband and he finds her behaviour hard to live with, he can, of course, divorce her. But marriage difficulties often
start with a stage when neither partner really wants a break-up of the marriage and yet, at least from the point of view of
one of the partners, the situation is unacceptable. The three steps suggested in the verse pertain to such circumstances.
"Admonish them". In this step the husband can say a great
variety of things to the wife. He can bring to her attention some relevant teachings from the Qur'an and Hadith. He can remind
her of the adverse effects of a possible break-up of marriage on all concerned - she herself, the children, if any, and he
himself. Such admonition however, will be effective only if the husband has a good character, at least in comparison with
the wife. Otherwise, the wife can say to him, either in her heart or aloud, "look who is talking".
The husband must practice what he preaches to his wife, for
the Qur'an condemns preaching to others what we do not practice ourselves (2:44).
"Separate them in beds". There is a lot that a husband can
achieve by talking to the wife in the right way. But if he fails, he should try separating the wife in bed and take other
steps that go with such an action, e.g. avoiding to talk to her. If there had ever been any love between the two, this separation
while living together, may help that love to return or come to the forefront. The wife may, as a result, become more willing
to change her ways and the husband too may begin to see some of the things in a different light. For this suggestion of separation
to work it is clear that the husband should have sufficient control over his sexual urges. For, otherwise he may be driven
to end the separation in bed before it had any positive effect on the wife.
"Beat them". If even separation fails to work, then it is
suggested that men use beating. To this suggestion of the Holy Qur'an there have been two extreme reactions on the part of
some Muslims. The first reaction is being apologetic or ashamed of the suggestion. The second is to use it as a justification
for indulging in habitual wife battering. Needless to say that both these reactions are wrong. The Quran as we believe is
the word of God and is thus every word in it is full of wisdom and love. To be apologetic about any part of the Quran is to
lack both knowledge and faith. As for the second response, the suggestion to use beating is made specifically to deal with
nushuz on the part of the wife, that is, to deal with her deliberately nasty behaviour that poses a threat to the marriage.
Beating is to be done after due admonition and separation in beds and therefore by husbands who have some moral standards
and have sufficient control over their sexual passions. Moreover, this beating is not to go on and on but is to be tried as
a last step to save the marriage. Once it is clear that it is not working it is to be abandoned in favour of some other steps
involving relatives of the husband and the wife mentioned in the next verse (4:35). There is therefore, absolutely no license
here for the type of regular and continual wife beating that goes on in some homes, where each time the husband is angry with
his wife or with someone else he turns against her and beats her up. In most such cases, the husband has no moral superiority
over the wife: the only rule of Shariah that he cares about is this suggestion about beating. He also does not have the kind
of control over his sexual passions needed to separate the wife in bed and often beats her the day before or the day after
making love to her, an action specifically condemned by the Prophet. (4)
In regard to the suggestion about beating, the following
further points should also be noted:
a) According to some traditions the Prophet said in his famous
and well-attended speech on the occasion of his farewell pilgrimage that the beating done according to the present verse should
be ghayr mubarrih, i.e. in such a way that it should not cause injury, bruise or serious hurt. On this basis some scholars
like Tabari and Razi say even that it should be largely symbolic and should be administered "with a folded scarf" or "with
a miswak or some such thing". However, to be effective in its purpose of shaking the wife out of her nasty mood it is important
that it should provide an energetic demonstration of the anger, frustration and love of the husband. In other words, it should
neither seriously hurt the wife nor reduce it to a set of meaningless motions devoid of emotions.
b) The wife has no religious obligation to take the beating.
She can ask for and get divorce any time. The suggestion applies only in the case when the husband is seriously disturbed
by a prolonged nasty behaviour on the part of the wife but neither he nor the wife is as yet seriously thinking of breaking
c) If the husband beats a wife without respecting the limits
set down by the Quran and Hadith, then she can take him to court and if ruled in favor has the right to apply the law of retaliation
and beat the husband as he beat her.
d) Some fuqaha (Muslim jurists) are of the opinion that beating
is permissible but not advisable. They base their view on the fact that the Prophet intensely disliked the action. But to
say that beating is only permissible but never advisable is to say that there is never any good in it but the husband can
nevertheless resort to it if he wants to; in other words he can beat up his wife without any good reason. This, however, is
a view that cannot possibly be attributed to the Book of God. We can expect the Holy Qur'an to mention beating only if there
was some wisdom in that mention. Now there are two possible points of wisdom in the mention. First, the beating done within
the limits defined by the Qur'an may indeed bring the husband and wife to some kind of understanding. This is not because
of the pain involved, which in any case cannot be too much if the guidance in the Quran and Hadith are to be observed. Rather,
the husband and wife may come closer together after beating because of the emotions involved. The wife may experience the
depth of hurt and disturbance her nushuz is causing and if there is any love left among them may decide for that reason to
change her conduct. It seems from observations of human behaviour know that a show of male physical energy can sometimes bring
a woman out of a prolonged bad mood (5) even though this energy may be seemingly directed against her in the form of angry
words or a slap, provided in this manifestation of energy there is an undercurrent of love and desire for the woman and no
real harm is done to the woman. In the situation with which the present verse is dealing, it is understood that in his heart
the husband does have some love and desire for the wife. For, he has the option of divorcing her but he is not taking that
option. Of course, there are husbands who neither love their wives nor divorce them, but keep them to punish them or exploit
them. But we are not dealing with this situation here, since the assumption is that ill-will (nushuz) is from the wife's side.
As for the argument that the Prophet intensely disliked beating, we can say that his intense dislike was for the type of beating
done outside the limits set down by God. Second, the mention of beating may have the wisdom, ironically, to protect wives
against what is called wife battering. The Quran does not always combat undesirable behavior by legal prohibition but by some
other means. Experience also shows that legal prohibition of an action may not always be the most effective method to stop
it. The Quran by requiring that before any beating there should be admonishing and separation of beds is providing a more
effective measure against wife battering, since battering is the result of uncontrollable anger or aggression and this anger
or aggression can be tamed during admonishing and separation of beds. No statistics exist, but I feel confident that if we
research the behavior of men in different religious groups over a long enough period and a vast enough area of the globe,
we will find that the incidents of cases of wife battering and other forms of cruelty to women have been less, both in terms
of numbers and seriousness, among Muslims than in other groups.
"But if they obey you, then seek nothing against them". Here
obey means that the wife accepts the husband's fair and justified demands or expectations. "Seek nothing against them" means
that after the wife has abandoned nushuz and returned to the decent way one partner in marriage should behave towards the
other, the husband should forgive and forget the past and start a new page.
"Behold, God is most high and great". These words are meant
for both the husband and the wife. Above them both is God in whose name they were joined in marriage. The husband should not
forget that the greater physical strength and the superior earning power which give him a certain advantage in marriage comes
from God. He should not, therefore, try to push this advantage to unjustified limits. In particular, he should not expect
to be the lord and master of the wife.
At the same time the wife should realize that her nasty behaviour
is causing a lot of unhappiness to all the family, to herself, to the husband and to the children and other close relatives.
She cannot do this to the near ones without displeasing God and without paying for it in some way.
(1) To the category of forged traditions encouraging women
to be obedient to their husbands may safely be relegated the hadith in which the Prophet is reported to have said: "If I were
to order anyone to prostrate himself before another, I would order a woman to prostrate herself before her husband" (Tirmidhi,
Ahmad). This hadith stands in marked contrast to the whole of the Qur'an and most other ahadith. To be sure the Qur'an and
Hadith recognize that in the marriage relationship men have greater responsibilities and therefore also a degree of greater
rights, but they do not see this degree in terms that can translate into the kind of subservience of women to their husbands
implied in this particular hadith. In fact, masters have greater rights over their slaves than husbands over their wives,
as also parents (especially mothers) over their children and yet the Qur'an and Hadith nowhere say that masters or parents
are like majazi (figurative, metaphorical) Gods for their slaves or children. How then can husbands be majazi Gods for their
(2) A hadith which talks about the obedience of the husband
by the wife and against whose authenticity there seems to be no strong arguments is quoted by Nasa'i and Bayhaqi on the authority
of Abu Hurayra. It reads:
"The best wife is the one who pleases (her husband) when
he looks at her, obeys him when he gives a command, and does not go against his wishes regarding her person or property by
doing anything of which he disapproves."
Notice that this hadith is consistent with the Qur'an in
that it does not command women to be obedient to their husbands but simply considers such obedience a desirable quality of
(3) When a husband dislikes something about the wife without
the wife having any nushuz or ill-will towards him, he should continue the marriage relationship in a maruf way as far as
possible, remembering that
"if you dislike them (i.e. your wives), it may be that you
dislike something and God brings about through it a great deal of good." (4:19)
(4) The Prophet said: "(How odd it is that) one of you should
whip his wife as a slave is whipped and then sleep with her at the end of the day". (Bukhari and Muslim, on the authority
of 'Abdallah bin Zam'a)
(5) In movies, for example, one often sees the following
type of scene: a man and a woman love each other but in some matter the woman simply does not want to listen to the man even
though she realizes deep down that he is thinking for the good of both of them. The man tries all the tender ways to bring
the woman around to his point of view without any success. Frustrated, the man at last bursts into anger and gives the woman
a slap. This shakes the woman out of her mood and she falls on his shoulders, with both happier than before. Of course, movies
are no guide for us but sometimes they do represent human nature and life as it is.
First published in Al-Ummah,
Montreal, Canada in 1984. Copyright Dr. Ahmad Shafaat. The article may be reproduced for Da'wah purpose with proper references.